Real Lovers

I am tired of being henpecked

by well-meaning but wrongheaded people

who seem to think it’s their responsibility

to make sure I am doing my religion “right.”

Apparently, there is a rule book somewhere

that dictates the proper behavior in every situation

lists acceptable language and hints at those words that are prohibited

(for it would never come right out and say them)

and provides a comprehensive guide to not scandalizing the community.

No one has ever been so kind as to ever give me a copy of this book, though.

It is not the Qu’ran, for it actually contains much that these people object to.

It is not the Hadith, for I have read most of them

and I don’t think the Prophet—peace be upon him—

would have passed muster with these folks.

Listen to Najat: if anyone ever did give me such a book,

I think I would use it for kindling.

Religion that is orderly and seemly

is built upon a nostalgia for passion long spent.

Real lovers are always getting into trouble.